Well, January started off a little rough on account of all the boozin' and drugs and exploding things on New Year's Eve (just kidding mom, hang up with Child Protective Services already).
I actually don't remember a lot of January (again, see above) except for the end part. It was Pickle's first birthday on the 23rd and we had a party for her at the local
vortex of hell bounce house place thingy. Normally, I go apeshit for birthday parties for the small humanoid specimens Joe and I created, as evidenced in the following pictures:
Not this time. I didn't want a bunch of
assholes kids trashing the girls' room and the rest of the house. I am sick of cleaning up before so people can make it dirty and make me have to clean up after. Also, I think my ability to just deal with all the bullshit surrounding party planning that I copped out. And it was wonderful. For everyone. I was relaxed, our
cult friends and family were relaxed and genuinely enjoyed themselves, especially Joe:
Pickle especially had a fan-freaking-tastic time:
But she wasn't crazy about the cake:
And some random kid decided to join our party. By "join our party" I mean go around to the tables and steal noisemakers and hats off of them and then go to the food table and take a piece of pizza. It actually didn't piss me off, amazingly. I think I was still on a "I love not having to do jack for this party" high still.
Looking at the pics from Pickle's party made me feel like I needed a haircut, like yesterday, so I spent 6 hours and a shit-ton of money and ended up looking like Rod Stewart circa The Faces:
I will not entertain your claims that this picture gave you nightmares. Put your big girl panties on already.
Yeah, so that was what I remember of January. Pretty boring.
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